No Funny Money

...or shoes.

Please do not enter, please do not take our steaks.

I'm in the backroom at work filling up bottles of cleaner when all the sudden I hear this woman's voice asking, "Do you guys have any Easter eggs back here or is all you have already out front?" Then I hear one of my co-workers, Chris, say, "Yeah, every thing we have is already out front." I'm thinking, what in the sam hill... and peek around the corner. I see Chris looking at me mouthing "what the @&#$?!" and I start cracking up. "Did a customer just walk back here?!" I ask. "YES! I'm tellin' you, I've been seeing some crazy stuff lately... like a couple days ago, it was like 11 at night and I see this guy go around the meat counter and just straight help himself to a steak. I saw him walk out of the store holding a raw piece of steak and give it to his dog. I'm not even kidding. He took a steak, gave it to his dog and then took a picture. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen."

Have any good shop lifting stories, or stories of customers helping themselves to the backroom or other "employee only" places?

Gingers and Why They Can't Be Trusted.

I’m working at the coffee shop, and this forty-something red-head comes in;

LADY: I just want a black coffee.
ME: Okay.  What size?
L: Big.
M: Okay (entering order) Big… black…
L: Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.
M: … (Pause to think of other words I may have confused with what she said… none.  Finish ringing order.)

Submitted by: Adrian

Juicin' it up

This customer always comes in and tells me, "You still got the juice!" and sometimes it's even accompanied by a hand shake. I have no idea what he's talking about, because he says it like it's our inside joke, so I just respond with, "I still got it!"

T.P. Doesn't stand for "Totally Polite"

Cashier hands customer receipt. Customer, "you can put that receipt in the bathroom. Use it as toiletpaper."

Aaaaaaallright, sir. You have a great day.